Day 19 was a royal Bia; From latent bitch urges to the consortium of idiots stopping you from quitting!

Day 19 .. not one of my best days. I started the day having the intense urge to start chewing on the wall. I’ve been hearing about this phenomenon. Latent Bitch urges they are called. Ok..they might not be really called that but it really fits if you think about it. Like latent hunger turned ravenous. Ehm..where was I going with that?

Anyway, so these latent Bitch urges are basically (according to me) latent urges turned Bitch. So, the day started out average bad, like any other workday if you know what I mean, and in about 5 minutes it turned into the Apocalypse. Main character: me, the five headed spew spewing monster.

For some reason I was stressed out and pissed off, and all around a bucket of joy. Usually, when that happens I get a short but fearsome panic attack.

KNOCK, KNOCK.
-Whose there?
-Just a quick reminder of all the things you have not done right/on time/or completely failed to do in your miserable life!

No, not this time though. Actually, that’s a positive thing. Because lately with all the stress at work, I was starting to get them a lot. Mostly when combining a cigarette with a coffee, sprinkle some deadline.

This time I instead felt miserable all day. I wanted a cigarette. To loosen up the stress you know? No. I didn’t have one. But I had to say I wanted one out loud, to dump my weakness on my already stressed out other half-also dealing with the healing process of withdrawal. What a load of crap that is. I am worried that with cigarettes as with alcohol, you don’t get cured you only get better.

Yes, I watched New Amsterdam. I couldn’t possibly come up with this great sounding pile of rubbish on my own. No, but seriously, I’m worried. Is this how it’s gonna be my entire life? Can someone remove my nicotine receptors please. Why do we even have nicotine receptors ??? Maybe I should maul it out over a cigarette.

I won’t. No. My mind is f**** with me. And you know what else is also f***** with me? Its the person writing this freaking blog right here BullshitAsanine . This guy, girl or consortium of neuter idiots is making me feel like I’m not going to make it cold turkey. Every time I google my signature tag “quit-smoking-cold-turkey” this blog is staring me in the face. It’s the featured blog on quitting smoking cold turkey. The featured blog telling you you can’t do it. Let me re-iterate that:

THE FEATURED BLOG IS TELLING YOU, YOU QUITTING COLD TURKEY IS A FUCKING FANTASY! YOU CAN’T DO IT!

Nice. But if you read on the blog tells you how to REALLY SUCCEED at quitting. Namely, hypnosis. For only 29,95 you can loose weight, get your sex life in gear aand quit smoking. Right. Ok. It’s not just me right? Please, tell me I’m not insane. It sure seems like the consortium of idiots behind it is out there to make a buck, or say 29,95 bucks per purchasing idiot.

On top of it all I managed to choose the same freaking blog template as they did. It must be the ESP CD I bought from 7-11 back in the day when I was a MORON! Expect more on bashing them. In my country they can’t sue me. Mostly because here is my layer and I can bribe myself out of a Watergate.